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I turned 40 today. And I woke up this morning feeling…conflicted.
On one hand I am overflowing with gratitude for being alive despite all that I have been through recently. Not only did I dodge cancer earlier this year, less than two weeks ago I got into a horrific car wreck that left two vehicles totaled.
No major injuries thankfully, mercifully, beautifully. But I find my ego and my sense of confidence have been shaken furiously, calling me to question my self worth.
So this morning, I also woke up with a sense of anxiety about the bigger picture of my life. Why was I spared? What is my higher calling? Am I doing everything I was meant to do?
AM I LIVING MY PURPOSE IN LIFE?
I can only imagine that this feeling of conflict is something I share with so many other survivors. I feel as though I have this pressure to make something of my life; this urgency to do something significant with the time I have been given. I have been given an awareness of the how truly lucky I am and how wonderful and sweet life can be and I shouldn’t WASTE IT.
I seem to be repeatedly shown how precariously close one’s life can come to the edge of oblivion. And when I am yanked back from the edge and told “you survived,” I am expected to simply ease back into normal, everyday life.
But life after trauma is anything but normal. And I for one find myself longing to figure out “the big picture” and my role in it.
I feel like the clock is ticking to do something worthwhile; something BIG; something that will ripple outward and onward long after I do end up leaving this Earth.
Talk about pressure.
But what if our purpose is so much simpler than that? So much smaller, so easy, so seemingly insignificant, we overlook its importance and its true gravity?
What if I already had it half right this morning when I woke up simply…GRATEFUL?
WHAT IF YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO SIMPLY FIND YOUR GRATITUDE?
That’s it. No catch. Just find at least one thing to be grateful for each day and latch onto that and let your gratitude radiate outward.
No matter how dire your situation, no matter how tough you believe life is, no matter what punches are thrown at you, I GUARANTEE you kind can find one sweet beautiful thing that you love in this world.
And your joy for that one thing? It can become contagious. Anger and negative energy might catch and spread like a disease, but gratitude and love and happiness spread doubly fast.
Imagine an entire population of people living up to their tiny purpose: gracious and loving people who can find the good in all they encounter; who find the blessing and the joy in every single day. True peace and serenity would indeed be possible.
So there you have it. You have one job in your lifetime; one tiny purpose: find your gratitude.
My name is Tiffany and I’m so grateful to have reached my 40th year. I hear that’s when life’s purpose snaps into focus.